This is Doreen. She’s a cranky old hen.

She’ll give you a peck every now and again!

She loves the camera and will follow me round

Squawking “Focus on me!” she’ll demand and demand.

She’ll look dead ahead, straight into the lens

Standing still, posing as long as it takes.

This is Doreen, my cranky old hen!

She lays me an egg every now and again.

She’s one of my oldest but she wasn’t my first.

She’s so funny – she’ll make me laugh til I burst!

Her antics are quirky and normal and strange

One moment she’s loving, the next she’s deranged!

She quite likes a cuddle but on her own terms

And goes bananas for sweetcorn and dandelions and worms.

At night she has her own spot on the perch

In the morning at first light she’s always the first

To head straight for the food

Speed swallowing it down

Her manners are awful – she’s really quite rude!

This is Doreen, she’s a right noisy bird

Her crowing is really the loudest you’ve heard!

But her feathers are soft and a mid shade of brown

Her bright orange comb is really a crown.

She thinks she’s the Queen , the cream of the crop

She’s lovely and cranky and loopy up top!

This is Doreen, she’s one of my hens

But over the years she’s become a good friend.

She’s pretty and sweet and has very big feet.

She’s grumpy and plucky but never downbeat.

My cat doesn’t bother when she squares up to him

He just meow’s and defiantly sticks out his chin!

If the sun’s shining they share the best patch

And they sunbathe together – they’re really best pals!

The others will watch

As she bathes in the dust

But they all gather round

Tails up and beaks down

Whenever there’s something to scratch on the ground.

She eats in the morning, at noon and at night

She’ll run and she’ll flap, but too heavy for flight

She will climb up and sit on the top of the roof

And watch o’er the flock from on high, quite aloof.

This is Doreen, the fattest of hens

She’ll drive me batty again and again.

But when she comes and she sits

On my lap and she fluffs out her feathers

She’ll listen intensely while I have a blether.

She settles, I stroke her and softly she “purrs”.

This is Doreen, my hen friend.

I love her.